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Man, I was so out of shape- and overweight - that after about five minutes I was sweating like apig and gasping for breath. Just then Romey came into the room, looked atme on the treadmill for a minute, and then began to giggle. "What's sodamn funny", I asked, "I'm about to die over her and you're laughing atme?" It's, um, just that, well, uh, with all the weight you've gained, whenyou're jogging you, uh, kind of look like the 'Michelin Man', all kindof flopping in different directions at the same time." Yeah?", I responded, "Well if I die of a heart attack or anything,you'll have to drag me up the stairs and get help", and that got both ofus laughing.So after that, I spent my time working to reverse what I had done to mybody the past year or so, with Romey acting as sort of my personaltrainer, helping me cut way back on my eating and helping me choosehealthier foods, and helping me plan out workouts that would stress mebut not to a dangerous level, and offering encouragement. Twenty years later the salesman visits a nearby town and lo and behold — he sees a faded banner for the same circus and the same “DON’T MISS THE AMAZING GOLDSTEIN!” message. The salesman can’t believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his incredible act! Of course, he buys a ticket and sits impatiently through all the acts until again the center ring is illuminated. This time there are three COCONUTS on the table.Out comes Goldstein. The little old man takes forever to creep to the table but this time he smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing God-given weapon.The stunned salesman requests a meeting with Goldstein after the show. In his dressing room he tells the old man he’s never seen anything like his act. But he wants to know why he is now smashing coconuts instead of the much easier walnuts.The Amazing Goldstein replies, “Oy, my eyes aren’t what they used to be!”Pope plays Golf The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin.
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